This one is for you

I've kept each of my tags from chemo treatments. They go up on my board Friday afternoons. Today, I got to put one up even though I didn't get Taxol. Dr. Curley said I had finished what I needed to. 12 down 4 to go!

Last Friday, I found myself crying and really dreading having to receive chemo. It was not easy to force myself to go. My brother-in-law sent me this beautiful scripture that gave me the courage to do it anyways. In 2 Nephi 22:2 the prophet Nephi is quoting Isaiah - “Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid; "For the Lord Jehovah is my strength and my song; he also has become my salvation." I spent the time during my treatment reciting this scripture and thinking about all of the people I love. This one was for you. I wonder if that is what the Savior thought while He was suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane.

Today was supposed to be the last Taxol treatment of my first round of chemo. Unfortunately my blood counts did not allow for that. My white blood cell count was normal due to the Zarxio shots I had received Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, but my red blood cell count (hemoglobin) was a 6 and platelets were at 69. Because my platelets count was less than 100, Dr Curley cancelled the chemo treatment and ordered a blood transfusion to help with my anemia (low red blood cells) which I will get this weekend. The transfusion is a 2-day process where I will go in on Saturday to get blood typed and screened and then Sunday I will have the transfusion which could take up to 6 hours because I will get two pints of blood. I should feel the results immediately and we are hopeful that it will help me to regain some energy. Thank you to those who have offered to donate their blood for the transfusion. Because the cost to donate directly from one person to another is exorbitant and very time consuming the infusion center recommended that people wanting to help just go and donate blood locally to replenish what I will be given.

I was able to catch Dr. Curley on my way out of the chemo room and mentioned that I had some family coming into town next week to help with my first cycle of AC. I asked him if he planned to postpone my Taxol to next week or skip a treatment. He decided to cancel my last Taxol treatment and move forward with AC next week. I also have an MRI scheduled for Tuesday morning to re-image the tumor after the first round of chemo. I have been experiencing a lot more side effects including swelling and weight gain from all the steroids, dry eyes and nose (leading to nose bleeds), and neuropathy in my hands. My taste buds are shot so I am not really getting a lot of satisfaction from eating, even food that I love. On the plus side I don’t need Zarxio shots this week, I get an extra week off before I start the next round of drugs and we should have a good idea of how the tumor is responding to the treatments when I meet with Dr Curley next Friday. We are so thankful my oldest sister Kimberly will be here Thursday from Texas to help for about a week.

Glen and I have spent the last couple of weeks researching the benefits and usage of medical marijuana and praying about if it was right for me to try and use. I applied for and received a card yesterday. We have talked with many cancer patients who have found relief from their nausea and exhaustion by using various forms of CDB, which include oils, tablets, edibles, and patches without all the side effects of the medications I am currently taking. We plan to visit a dispensary this weekend and gather some more information and items that may help with my next chemo appointment.

We had mixed emotions about Rebekah leaving for college Thursday morning. She drove up with two of her roommates and is now settled in her apartment in Rexburg. She has been such a blessing to have at home the last nine months, but we are so excited for her next adventure and know it is time for her to move forward. We will all miss our daughter and big sister dearly.