Turning 50 with gratitude

I turned 50 this past week on May 3rd. Glen's 50th birthday was 10 days earlier on April 24th so we decided to celebrate together this last Saturday. One of my dreams came true as Glen and I were able to dance together to our song.

The greatest gift I have received this year is more time. More time to learn and grow, to repent and change, to raise my children, and to serve my Heavenly Father. We are deeply grateful for the healing of my body that has come from our united faith and prayers and medical intervention.

I am regaining my stamina and my most recent blood work showed blood counts almost all back to normal. My oncologist agreed that was cause for celebration! I will follow up with my plastic surgeon on May 25th to make plans for my second stage of reconstruction but I feel happy and healthy. 

Seize every moment! We love you all so much. 💛

Updates from today's surgery

7:40am: Di arrived in the operating room at HonorHealth Emergency Center - Deer Valley. I went to the surgery waiting room with her and waited with her until they called her back. I could have stayed there during the surgery but decide to go home because I was able to get the kids off to school. They could be done with surgery by 3pm — the surgeon will call me either way. Diana won’t wake up for 2-4 hours after the surgery and then they will move her to a room where I can visit her. 

1:00pm: Surgery is over. Diana is doing well and arrived in recovery room.

1:15pm: Doctor called and Di is actually awake already. Surgery went faster because they didn't need to use both flaps and so fewer bell blood vessels to suture. I still can't see her until they move her to a room in about an hour.

2:25pm: Diana is awake and in her room. Not feeling pain but her stomach feels tight. Had something to drink already. Nurses and staff ahve been great! Diana said she is so grateful for all the fasting and prayers and that it made such a huge difference for her!

Stacked DIEP flap reconstruction

Happy 2022, long time no blog! After enjoying a wonderful holiday season with friends and family, I have been cleared for my reconstructive surgery on Feb. 1st. I saw Dr. Curley on Jan. 13th, and he was encouraged by my blood work and said I should feel good about how I am recovering at this point. Today (Jan 28th) has been one year since my mastectomy and lymph node removal and he said he sees no cause for concern! We will continue to meet every three months but he does not plan to do any other scans unless something changes in my blood work or overall health. Sometimes he said doing too many scans can "stir the pot" and create problems that weren't there.

I hesitated to give an update on my surgery date until I knew for sure it was going to happen! Covid cases have skyrocketed here in AZ and so all elective surgeries were cancelled thru Jan. 26th at the hospital where I am scheduled. We have been holding our breath and praying cancellations wouldn't get extended into February and so far so good. To prepare for surgery I have been drinking protein shakes three times a day with meals to help with healing. Today I got COVID tested and all marked up with sharpie by Dr. Matatov. 😊

I will check into the hospital at 5:30am Tuesday and surgery is scheduled to begin at 7:30am. Dr. Matatov and his associate surgeon will be operating for 6-8 hours. They will remove my expander and port and then essentially transplant tissue and blood vessels from my abdomen to reconstruct my left breast. I am scheduled to stay in the hospital for 2-3 days where the flap will be monitored around the clock by a digital system (TSAT) that will notify the doctor if there are any problems with blood flow and circulation. Glen will be able to see me during visiting hours. My full recovery will be about 6-8 weeks but the first two weeks will be the hardest. For the first week after surgery I will have to give myself shots of Lovenox to prevent blot clots. No lifting of anything more than 10 lbs for six weeks but hopefully I will be able to drive after about three weeks when I will begin physical therapy appts twice a week. This procedure will be the first of a two part process. In about 6 months, after everything has settled and healed, I will have a second operation to adjust tissue and try and bring some symmetry between my breasts. This will be much less invasive and expected to be about a two-week recovery.

Emotionally, I feel nervous going into this surgery but Glen and I have both felt peace several times while making this decision. I am confident about Dr. Matatov and I am trying to focus on the fact that when I am all done my expander and port will be gone! I am so grateful for my sister and mom who will each come for a week to help during my recovery. Thank you for your continued prayers and support. Glen will post updates next week as he gets more information.

Love, 

Di

Rebuilding physically and spiritually

Dear friends!

It's been a wonderful couple of weeks since I last wrote. We had a spiritual feast as we listened to and learned from our prophet, President Nelson, and church leaders at the October general conference. President Nelson identified one of the plagues of our day to be that too few people know where to turn for truth and he encouraged us to seek for pure truth, doctrine, and revelation. "If most of the information you get comes from social or other media, your ability to hear the whisperings of the Spirit will be diminished. If you are not also seeking the Lord through daily prayer and gospel study, you leave yourself vulnerable to philosophies that may be intriguing but are not true." (Make Time for the Lord)

Our children were out of school for the first two weeks of October so we also enjoyed getting away to visit some family in California. My feet were so happy in the sand at Santa Monica Beach and we loved attending the Los Angeles temple and visitors' center with our cousins.

After we returned, I had a follow-up appointment with Dr. Curley on the 14th and he was happy to see my hands and feet were healing and that I was able to walk outside more consistently. My blood counts were still low but he was not surprised by that. He said it can take 3-4 months from the end of chemo for the bone marrow to replenish white blood cells and platelets. I told Dr. Curley, "We really love you, but when do we get to break up?" 😉 He said if my bone scan results looked good that we could set check-ups and blood work for every three months for the next two years, and then after that slowly space visits out a little more until I reach five years. Once I reach five years of clear scans and healthy blood work the chances of the cancer coming back are very low.

The next morning, I went to the imaging center to get a shot of radioactive dye and to set up my bone scan. I was able to go home until 1pm and then return for the test. During that time the kids were still out of school so I tried to keep my distance so I was not emitting any radioactivity, and we laughed as we sang "Radioactive, radioactive..." (from Imagine Dragons) and they calling me "Sooo..san" (from Monsters vs. Aliens) 🤣

For anyone who is claustrophobic, I'd recommend avoiding bone scans! All of the scans together lasted about 45 minutes. They placed a rubber band around my feet to hold them in place and wrapped my upper body in an arm wrap, straight jacket thing. When the machine moved into place around my body, the cameras were literally 1 inch away from my face! I had to keep my eyes shut and just breathe deeply the entire time to get through it. Thankfully, the test was not loud like an MRI and the technician was very good and talked me through exactly what he was going to do and how long it would last. He did an overall body scan that lasted 20 minutes and then he took five 5-minute images of my abdomen, pelvis, chest, and head. I was definitely relieved to have this test complete! On Friday, my results came back and everything looked normal!! I have never been so excited to be NORMAL in all my life! 😊

Glen and I have decided to push my reconstructive surgery date from December 1st to February 1st to allow my body more time to heal. I have spent the past few days on the phone talking with insurance to get approval and coordinating new dates and appointments. I am expected to be in the hospital for 2-3 days and my recovery will last about 6-8 weeks. Until then I am taking lots of healthy supplements and vitamins that I was prohibited from using during my chemo and radiation, to strengthen and rebuild my energy. It feels so wonderful to be putting good things into my body. I am still very tired but I am getting better every day, and I'm looking forward to enjoying several days this week with a few sisters and my mom in Texas to celebrate the end of treatment!

Often, I find myself reflecting on the experiences of the past couple of years and I wonder what I have learned. I have come to see that the purpose of suffering is to bring about change. It is not punishment from God but tutoring in our mortal condition to bring us closer to God. I have never been more certain that God loves me and that he knows and feels what I am experiencing because he has suffered it too. He sees us, he supports us, and he strengthens us because we are his children. I also know that "God, our Heavenly Father, wants us to choose to come home to Him. His plan of eternal progression is not complicated, and it honors our agency. We are free to choose who we will be—and with whom we will be—in the world to come!" (President Nelson, The Temple and Your Spiritual Foundation)

As I build my spiritual foundation upon Jesus Christ and learn how to draw upon His power, I need not succumb to the unique anxieties of this time. I pray for you in all that you are experiencing in your personal lives.

Love, 

Di

Update: CT scan results

Dr. Curley just called me with my CT scan results. Everything looks clear! No cause for concern in any way. We are overjoyed! 🎉

Healing & post-treatment staging

Flowers and quilt from dear friends, the Wolfersbergers

On Saturday, we were so happy to return the wheelchair I have been using! I haven't needed to use it this past week and my hands and feet are beginning to heal. They still require a lot of lubrication at night and during the day but the peeling has slowed way down. I actually laced up my tennis shoes a few days ago and gingerly walked around our neighborhood one time. I have several toenails that are bleeding, which I think might fall off because my nail beds are so dry, but I just keep slathering them with aquaphor and oil in hopes that I can hang on to them as long as possible.

We've been adjusting to having half of our children gone since Rebekah and Ryan left. It always feels like someone is missing but the younger three kids have enjoyed moving into new rooms, bigger beds, and spreading out a bit. Kate moved downstairs into Beka's old room; Daniel was thrilled to move into Ryan's queen bed; and we finally took down the girls' bunk beds and moved Hannah's toys into her room. My dear friend Ellie helped me to organized Hannah's books and toys and rearrange her closet so that she has enough room to do cartwheels. She loves it!

Another friend from Utah, Jessica, came on Sept. 12 for a few days to help us shuffle rooms and work on projects that have been accumulating over the past year. We went through closets and cupboards and attacked the garage, which had turned into a bit of a dumping ground 😩. It was like I was "nesting" all over again and as I began to declutter I felt emotionally better than I have since I started oral chemo. We can't thank you enough!

Jessica and me

On Sunday, Sept. 19, we returned from church to find an adorable pumpkin wreath and fall decorations outside our front door! They are so cute and we have had so much fun setting them up for the holidays and preparing for some cooler weather. We don't have any idea who brought them and since we don't know who to thank ... if you are out there reading this please, know how much you brightened our day!

On the Sept. 22, Glen and I met with Dr. Matatov our plastic surgeon. I was quite anxious about talking with him as I had been rethinking my decision to have a DIEP flap reconstruction and considering using implants instead. After praying and researching and counseling with others, Dr. Matatov was able to answer several questions and concerns we had. Because of the way that radiation has effected my muscles and tissues, we feel peace that the DIEP flap surgery is the best option for my circumstances. Even though it will be a more evasive procedure and harder recovery, we feel like long term I will have the best results. He has been holding a surgery date for me of Dec. 1 but he said after our visit, he feels I will need longer to heal before having surgery. We will meet with him again at the beginning of November to make a final decision on the timing but he reminded us that this is an elective procedure and that we should make sure I'm completely healed and strong mentally and physically before going into it. I was very grateful for the time that he took with us and we felt like our prayers for guidance had been answered.

The PET scan that Dr. Curley ordered was denied by our insurance so instead we are doing a combination of two CT scans and a bone scan. Today I had a chest, abdomen, and pelvis CT scan with contrast. I should have the results from that in a few days but I have to wait until Oct. 15 to get the bone scan done. That will consist of an injection in the morning and then returning in the afternoon for the actual scan. Once we get all these results, we can establish some post-treatment staging and next steps. I'll see Dr. Curley again on Oct. 14 to do bloodwork and see how I am recovering from the oral chemo. I've been able to adjust my physical therapy to every other week now that I am getting a better range of motion with daily exercises.

The next few weeks our children will be out of school for fall break and project week. Kate will still have early morning seminary but we are looking forward to resting, making a trip to CA and seeing Glen's sister and family, the Cobbs, and enjoying a little beach time.

Love, 

Diana and Glen

We did it!

Several months ago, 7-year-old Hannah asked me, "Mom, when are we going to be done with this cancer?" I pulled her close for a hug and said, "That is a great question!" When we learned that I would have just one more round of oral chemo, she and I made a pink paper chain to count down my last 14 days of medication. She has been excitedly cutting off a link each night. Sunday night (September 5) at 7:30pm, I took my last dose of oral chemo and she handed me the scissors to cut off the last link! I'm feeling pretty worn down but my doctor said I should start feeling better in about three weeks. I'm happy to begin healing.

I met with my oncologist, Dr. Curley, last Friday and he let me ring the bell to signify the end of my treatment even though I still had a few more days of chemo. He and several of the nurses were there to congratulate me and presented me with a certificate that read "You did it!" As soon as I got home, I corrected it to read, "You We did it!" I could never have made it to this point without each of you — your prayers, your faith, your love, your encouragement, your meals, your help with children and cleaning, your rides to appointments, your calls, texts and cards. I have felt quite emotional as I have reviewed in my mind all of the support and service we have received. Today, I decided to pray and fast in gratitude for you and for my loving Savior who have been with us each step of this difficult journey. We did it!

As we talked about our next steps with Dr. Curley, he said that he would like to see me in six weeks to see how I'm healing and to take another blood draw. He's going to order another PET scan for post-treatment staging but he said unfortunately insurance usually doesn't approve this very expensive scan. If that is denied, he'll order a CAT scan that will also provide helpful imaging and which is usually approved. I'll continue to work with my physical therapist weekly and I have an appointment with my plastic surgeon on September 22 to discuss plans for reconstructive surgery. Financially, we'd like to do that before the end of the year since we've met our medical deductible but that will all depend on how I heal and what Dr. Matatov recommends at our next visit.

Aside from my treatments and appointments, we've had a very busy couple of weeks with our family. On August 17, Glen and I celebrated our 23rd anniversary together at home. The next day, Glen flew to Virginia to help our daughter Rebekah drive back from her summer internship. She has had the most marvelous experience working with a wedding planner who's now become a part of our family! During the week that he was gone, I received tremendous support from our church and friends who helped to be my feet and hands in all the ways I could not.

After Glen and Beka returned, we had about a week to help Beka prepare for her drive back to BYU-Idaho and to help our son Ryan prepare for his mission departure. His original assignment was to Rancagua Chile but due to COVID closing borders he's been temporarily reassigned to the Texas Dallas East Mission. Beka left Sunday afternoon and we took Ryan to the airport at 5am Monday morning. By the time they left, my mother heart hurt worse than my hands and feet. After a day of crying, I can truthfully say I am happy to watch my children move forward and progress, but they sure do leave a hole behind as they do 💓. It will be a wonderful blessing to have both Paul and Ryan out serving the Lord. We have already felt many blessings because of their sacrifices.

Praying you will feel our love and gratitude.

Di

Feeling a little geriatric :)

This fifth cycle of oral chemo has definitely taken a toll on my hands, feet, and range of motion. This past Wednesday, I saw Dr. Quiet, my radiation oncologist for a three-month follow-up appointment. She commented on how tired I was looking and was concerned with the range of motion I have lost in my arm and chest muscles. I've been having pain in my shoulder and chest as I try to use my left arm. I asked her if that was delayed stiffness due to radiation or because of my oral chemo. She said probably both. She wants me to begin physical therapy again and she said I really need to move as much as I can. She suggested using the pool now that the temperatures are coming down.

I've mostly been using a wheelchair when I have to be out of the home for any length of time because of the pain in my feet. Back-to-school shopping was really exciting with the kids pushing me around 😧 We took out a couple dozen corners but no people! I got in the pool Friday morning and bobbed around on some pool noodles so that my feet didn't touch the pool floor. I was worried that the chlorine might burn my hands and feet but that didn't seem to be an issue. Unfortunately, when I got out of the pool my feet were so pruney that the skin just ripped off.

Later Friday, we met with Dr. Curley for blood work and a checkup. He was not happy to see me in a wheelchair or happy with the condition of my hands and feet. He said that he blamed himself for this, not me. They are so red and throbbing that even the gloves and socks hurt that I wear after applying my moisturizers. Up until now, my feet have felt much worse than my hands but now my hands are just as bad. He asked if I could make it through one more cycle. I told him I could. He said that all the studies done with Xeloda show success based on 6-8 cycles. If I can get to six cycles, he says we need to stop because of the side effects I am experiencing. I was hesitant to do that after coming this far but Dr. Curley assured me that this is the best course of treatment for my circumstances. So my last day to take oral chemo will be September 5 instead of October 17. I was able to work in an appointment with my PT after seeing Dr. Curley. It was my most painful session and I have lots of homework to complete before I see her again next week.

Glen has been my constant and tender caregiver. Taking me out to dinner by piggyback, lubing up my hands and feet every night, bringing me food and chemo each morning. I always have something to be grateful for because of him. Praying that my last cycle of chemo will be enough to kill whatever cancer cells might remain in my body.

Halfway there! (July 28)

This week will complete my fourth cycle, which means I'm almost halfway done with my oral chemo. That still feels like a long road ahead but I'm grateful to be on the downward slope. After we returned home from Utah, we visited with Dr. Curley and he said that the peeling feet is to be expected with the Xeloda. He doesn't want to lower my dosage any more than we already have and he still hopes to have me complete eight cycles. I'm grateful for the wheelchair and stationary bike that friends have allowed us to borrow. It has made my immobility much more manageable.

The best part of this week has been Ryan starting his at-home missionary training. I've been able to be his "companion" while Glen and the kids went to Lake Powell for a few days. I have loved the spirit that has been in our home since we've been living the mission rules to go to bed and arise early, to pray and study scriptures, and to eliminate any media influences that might distract Ryan from his missionary purpose. I can hardly believe it's already been nine months since Paul was doing the same thing.

I'm not sure how many of you are old enough to remember the security alerts that would periodically come up on the TV screen. A loud beeping would sound and different colored bars would appear on the screen as we heard the words, “This is a test, this is only a test." Those words came to my mind this week as I thought about the plan of salvation God has for us and the recent experiences I've had in my life. Our “real” life, our eternal life, begins after this proving ground is complete, and it will be more glorious than we can imagine. I live for that day. I don’t ever want to get too comfortable here in this mortal probation.

I believe in modern day prophets and I know President Nelson is the inspired prophet for our world today. I'm thankful for his invitation to increase our faith. I try to ask myself each morning in prayer, “What would I do today if I had more faith? Think about it, write about it, and then DO it!” As my faith leads me to obey the commandments more fully and to keep my covenants, the power of the atonement can save me from my fallen state. I am indebted to my Savior Jesus Christ who suffered ALL pains, sins, all afflictions, and even death for each of us so that we might overcome them.

Family time + adjusted dosage

Andersen reunion

I'm writing this update from Manti, Utah, where we've been able to spend the last couple of days at the Andersen family reunion. It's been a year and a half since I was able to leave the state, so it's been wonderful to get away, be with family, and enjoy the cooler temperatures! We will head up north to American Fork next week to see some of my family and give Ryan the chance to visit relatives one last time before he starts his mission.

At the end of my last cycle, my feet got so painful that I needed to upgrade my knee scooter for a wheelchair to get around. I contacted my nurse navigator to make him aware of how I was feeling and they told me to stop taking the Xeloda until I could get in to see Dr. Curley. He said if I needed a wheelchair, I was probably on too much and they would reevaluate things after doing some bloodwork. When I saw Dr. Curley on June 18, he wasn't concerned with my bloodwork but definitely felt we needed to adjust the dosage of my medication because of the hand/foot syndrome side effects. He said it is not uncommon to have to reduce dosages and that it would not interfere with the efficacy of the oral chemo. He lowered my dosage by about 25% for the next cycle so that I will now take 2000mg a day instead of 2600mg.

Sisters!

At the temple for Ryan's endowment

Beka's birthday!

During this time we had the chance to enjoy lots of company. One of Kate’s friends from NC was able to come and attend Girls' Camp with her. My sister Kim came from Texas on June 11 to help with family and shop for Ryan's mission, and Rebekah was able to come home for a week to celebrate her 22nd birthday and be with Ryan and our family as we attended the temple for him to receive his endowment. It was a glorious event and one I was so happy I could save my steps for!

My feet were feeling much better after a 10-day break and I started cycle 3 on June 21. My hands and feet are looking better on this lower dosage but I can certainly see the side effects worsen the last few days on the medication. I am more tired, nauseous, and my feet are more tender and red. Starting Monday, I'll get another 7-day break! Feeling grateful for my improvement. 

Hope you all have a marvelous 4th of July!

My new wheels!

I will be starting the second week of my second cycle tomorrow. Thankfully, the blisters I had at the end of last cycle have gone down without popping due to staying off my feet more and keeping them medicated and moisturized. I am using several creams my brother sent to me during the day and soaking my hands and feet in Aquaphor before bed. I borrowed a knee scooter from a friend of mine to use around the house or whenever I go out and now the kids can't keep up with me. :) 

I am grateful I'm still able to get around but most days my feet feel like I went outside in the summer heat and stood barefoot on the pavement for a half hour. They feel burned and very tender at this point. I think the severity of the hand/foot syndrome will definitely vary depending on where I am in the cycle and the length of time I am on the Xeloda. I'm looking forward to not having to take pills next week, but in terms of the side effects Dr. Curley says that usually there's a delayed effect and the week off the meds is the worse and the first week of a new cycle there will be some relief. I have been able to ride my bike in the mornings to get some exercise but the temperature has hit triple digits here so I have to get out early if I want to beat the heat 😅. I've stayed away from swimming since the chlorine can really dry out my skin.

Last Wednesday, I met with Dr. Matatov, our plastic surgeon. I haven't seen him since before my radiation and he was very pleased with how my skin is healing. He feels I will do well with the reconstruction. He wants to give me 6–8 weeks after I finish oral chemo before we look at surgery, so my body is strong and ready to recover from another operation. So, I'll most likely finish oral chemo toward the end of October and he is looking at reconstruction surgery mid-December. He will also take out my port at that time if all goes well. He wants me to do some massage around my expander to decrease the rate of capsular contracture.

Friday, I had a mammogram and ultrasound of my right breast since it's been over a year since my diagnosis. I'm happy to report that everything looked completely normal! I will continue to have annual imaging on that side but I should not need to do any testing on my left side after my reconstruction due to the fact that all mammary glands have been removed.

It has been an exciting time for the kids who finished finals and school on May 28th. I was so happy to attend Ryan's high school graduation on the 29th. On the 30th, he turned 18 and after church he was ordained as an Elder in the priesthood in preparation for his mission. After his ordination, he was able to help set apart Glen and I in our new callings as ward missionaries!! We feel joyful to be able to serve in this capacity with Paul and Ryan. 

Happy summer to you all!

Praying for healthy hands and feet (5/21)

Just got back from my appointment with Dr. Curley. My blood work is looking pretty good. I'm still a little anemic, but everything else is barely within the acceptable range. He cleared me to travel this summer as long as I'm feeling well enough. The biggest concern I'm having is blisters on my feet. The past several days of walking have been quite painful. Dr. Curley said this is because of the Xeloda and I may need to back off of walking and try some other forms of exercise. He also recommended some new, cushioned shoes.

We would be grateful if you would specifically pray with us that my hands and feet will stay healthy enough for me to be mobile and to be able to care for our family. I will see Dr. Curley again at the end of my next cycle on June 18th.

Love,
Di

I got COVID...for a day! (5/20)

What???

Well, the past couple of days have been full of lots of highs and lows! Last Wednesday, Glen became sick with cold-like symptoms and by the weekend I also began to feel a sore throat, cough, congestion, and stuffy head. My symptoms followed his almost exactly, just about 3-4 days behind. 

On Monday, when we still were not well, I felt like we should get a COVID test, even though we are both fully vaccinated. I had several doctors appointments scheduled during the week and I knew if I had any symptoms, they would require a test before coming into the office. So both of us drove through a COVID testing site and got a nasal swab done. 24 hours later when we got the results, we could not believe it! Glen was negative and I was positive. We saw the results just as the kids were getting ready to head out the door to school so we caught them and started making calls and sending emails to the teachers and staff. The kids were very upset since the older ones were all doing their final reviews this week, and Hannah was so sad to miss the recording of her music concert with the Bumble bee song 😢. "We were going to get to stand on the risers," she said sadly. After some time, we were able to get Kate and Ryan on Zoom calls with their classes, but unfortunately for Daniel no Zoom links were provided for the middle school classes, so he just had to wait to get missed work. 

Meanwhile, the kids began to realize all that they would miss while they had to be in quarantine for the next week. Ryan's senior prank day and senior dinner ... Daniel's sports award ceremony, mutual activities ... Kates's soccer workouts, receptions, Sunday dinner ... not to mention that Hannah was not going to be able to pop the balloon for her special end-of-year activity and summer birthday celebration! It was easy to see all we were losing, so we cried and punched some pillows and then we talked about what we could and could not control and how all of these disappointments played into a bigger perspective. One blessing that came is that Ryan was able to talk with the temple workers to schedule his appointment to receive his endowment on June 19. They had missed each other several times because they had always called when he was at school.

I talked with my oncology nurse and he encouraged me to get another test done before we made any decisions with my treatment. I continued to take my oral chemo, and the next day Glen and I went to a different clinic and got a deep nasal PCR test done. We explained our situation to the physician assistant who tested us, and she said it was more likely that in the first test Glen was a false negative and that I was a false positive. Another day passed with the kids homeschooling, when we got the second set of results. Glen and I were both negative!

I never saw so much jumping up and down, hoops and hollers, and excitement as when we told the kids they could go back to school! We were so happy to spread the good news!! Everyone was ready in uniforms and lunches packed before we got off the phone with the school administrators! We got the kids dropped off and as I laid down to rest, I thought to myself about what had happened. I got down on my knees to thank Heavenly Father that we did not have COVID. The joy of Wednesday would not have been so sweet without the disappointment of Tuesday. I know the same will be true of my life after I crush this cancer! I will see Dr. Curley tomorrow to get blood tests done and discuss my first round of oral chemo.

Oral chemo and radiation follow-up (5/12)

Me and all of my pills

On May 10, I started my first round of oral chemo, Xeloda. I take 1300 mgs (4 tablets) in the morning with a full meal and then 12 hours later I take another 1300 mgs with a meal. It's been a little difficult finding the best time to eat so that I can take my medication. I feel like I'm force-feeding myself a bit even when I'm not hungry, so that I can get my pills in. Right now, I take my first dose around 7 or 7:30am so that I can have my evening dose at about 7pm before it gets too late. The doctors encourage me to eat at least 300 calories with each dose so that it will help with absorption and not upset my stomach. They also want me to be as consistent with the times I take it so it is most effective. If I forget a dose by more than 2 hours, I am supposed to skip it and just take the next dose so that there is not too much chemo in my system at one time. My stomach has felt a bit sour since starting the Xeloda but it seems to help if I have a little bit of food on it at all times. So I am just planning to eat my way through the next six months. :) I take the oral chemo for 14 consecutive days and the 7 days off before I start a new cycle.

Throughout the day and at night I'm supposed to use heavy moisturizer on my hands and feet to prevent hand/foot syndrome (cracking and peeling of the skin on the palms of my hands and souls of my feet). Every time I sit down, I try to moisturize and at night I slather Aquaphor on my feet and hands and cover them with socks and gloves. Glen says I look like Michael Jackson with my white cotton gloves at night. :) I am going to see if I can moonwalk any better with my Aquaphor on.

Today, I met with my radiation oncologist, Dr. Quiet, to see how my skin was healing after a month post-radiation. She gave me an A+ for keeping Vitamin E oil on it as much as I could. She was very pleased with how the skin was looking and with all the work I had done with the physical therapist to regain my range of motion. I will have one last PT appointment and then I can discontinue that for now. She said I will always need to be careful about trauma to my left arm and side of my chest that could bring on lymphedema but for now things are looking good! 

Thank you for your prayers of healing and strength.

Bittersweet change (5/2)

Glen and his two counselors on the day they were called as a bishopric four years ago.

After faithfully serving for four years as the bishop of our church congregation (the Pinnacle Peak ward), Glen and his two counselors were released from their callings. It is difficult to express the bittersweet feelings we have felt about this change. We love our ward family so much and they have been such a blessing to us! 

Although Glen would spend many hours each week away from home as bishop, he always came home a better man, and perhaps more tired. :) His church service has always felt like more of a blessing than a sacrifice. I am so grateful for the inspiration that guides this church. When our stake president told us, after praying and fasting, that it was time for Glen to be released, we felt peace in knowing this was the Lord's will and timing. Our dear friend was called as the new bishop and we are so excited to support and sustain him, his counselors, and their families. As part of the sacrament meeting, I was asked to share my feelings along with Glen, his counselors, and the new Bishopric. This is some of what I said:

"I have been thinking a little bit about plans. The plans that we make for our lives and our families and the plan of happiness our Heavenly Father has for us collectively and individually. So many times, our own plans are not what God’s plans entail. Sometimes the events are different or the timing is different. One thing that my cancer has taught me is that we can trust in our loving Father Heaven and the plan that he has for each of us. On some of my hardest days I have thought about the image of the monkey trap that is used where a box or container of some kind is placed over a type of bait (fruit). An opening is cut on top of the box just big enough for the monkey's paw to reach in and grab the fruit but not large enough to pull it out once its paw is full. Sometimes that bait inside the box is a bad habit, an addiction, a sin or temptation that we must learn to let go of in order to be free from Satan's captivity. But other times it can represent wonderful things that we cherish, things we have worked for, or wished for... like our physical or mental health, our business, our husband, our father, or child. When God's plan for us requires we let go of those things to follow His plan for us, we must learn to follow our Savior's example of submission, surrendering, yielding, trusting, and having our will swallowed up in the Fathers. Jesus Christ used his agency to take upon Him the pain and suffering that would result from my sins and my afflictions so that I would never have to be alone. So that he could succor and heal me in exactly the ways I would need. He is the restorer of all things, he is my life giver, my perfect oncologist, and the hope I feel in each new day. I have found that the Lord is much more concerned about the condition of my heart than he is about my cancer.

After all that Christ endured, he also commands us to lift up our heads and be of good cheer, let not your heart be troubled or afraid because He knows and He sees that even if everything around us seems to be crumbling, His plan will always bring us eventual and eternal joy. So, this life becomes a test of our faith and patience. Do I trust Him enough to believe in his plan? I do. I believe. Do we trust Him enough to repent and obey? As we do, He gives us beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, and the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness (Isaiah 61:3)"

Blessed respite

It's been so wonderful this past week and a half to not have to go in for radiation treatments each day! The top layer of skin that was damaged has been peeling since my last treatment but now the new skin is starting to heal and scab over. I am still very tired but feeling a little better each day and my bowels are almost back on track. I usually get up to walk and shower, and then I need to lie back down to take a nap to gear up for when the kids get home, dinner, and evening activities. I have successfully ruined most of Glen's extra t-shirts that I wear after I lube up with Vitamin E oil each morning and night. 😀 That is thick, messy stuff! 

We enjoyed participating in Ryan's senior thesis defense on Monday and he will have school prom this Saturday.

 
Our first two week's supply of Xeloda was shipped to us from a specialty pharmacy and we're set to begin that on May 10th. We're hoping that if all goes well, Dr. Curley might allow us to travel during the summer in between my blood draws each cycle. 

Hoping you are all well and feeling strengthened in your individual challenges!

Love, Di

Radiation complete!

Today was my last day of radiation!! I'm so excited to have this part of treatment complete but I have to admit I was really sad to say goodbye to the office staff and radiation technicians who've become my friends over the past six weeks. Jean, Dorothy, Kwaneija, Cheryl, Ana, and Lucia have been so kind to me and I will miss them. It's been more than a month since my last entry so let me give you a recap of what's happened during that time.

• After starting radiation, I was told to be very careful about irritating the skin that was being treated, including not using a washcloth or razor in the shower and keeping my left arm on my hip while I walked to prevent repetitive rubbing of my arm against the side of my chest. I called this "walking with attitude" but I got some pretty funny looks from people who thought I was posing for a picture while I was exercising. :) My skin seemed to hold up pretty well until the last two weeks when I started to get very itchy from dryness and my skin started to burn. It's now a dark reddish brown and quite leathery but Dr. Quiet is hopeful that in the next month, with a lot of Vitamin E oil, it will heal well. My fatigue also increased as radiation continued and it seems I'm always tired. The kids recently asked me if I could have any superpower, what would it be? I said "to have endless energy and never get tired!" I'll follow up with Dr. Quiet on May 12 to see how I'm recovering.
  
  
• We had a wonderful Spring Break March 15–19. Glen took a couple of days off so we could do some family activities like ice skating, and a day trip to San Tan Valley to see the Brown cousins and Courtney (niece) who was in town from Utah. We also played with friends, went to the lake for an afternoon with our neighbors, worked on puzzles and got to dog-sit Bailey, our friends' Goldendoodle!
  
  
   
  

  
  
  

  

• The following week, Ryan had his senior class trip to Williams, Arizona, and while he was there, he received his mission call! We had to patiently wait until he got home that weekend to find out that he will be serving in the Rancagua, Chile mission and will begin his missionary training at home on July 27. Other recent activities for the kids include church prom this weekend for Ryan, braces and basketball for Daniel, soccer playoffs for Kate, and Rebekah driving to Virginia for a summer internship with a wedding planner. It was glorious to have her here for the past week!
  
  
  
  
  
• I was grateful to receive my first COVID vaccine (Pfizer) on February 28 and had a sore arm for a few days but after I received my second vaccine on March 28, I was quite sick for almost a week. I've had diarrhea during this entire time and my oncologist thinks it could be a side effect of the vaccine, so I'm using several things that are helping to setting things down including a probiotic, kefir, and CBD oil.
  
  
• My sister Annette and her family were here for their Spring break the week of March 24–31. We got to celebrate Ben's 8th birthday while they were here and they were a huge help in getting me back on my feet after my second COVID vaccine.

 

• Easter week and General Conference were absolutely wonderful for us and seemed to come just exactly when we needed it most. We loved listening to our prophet's counsel and are already feeling the blessings as we "clear away the debris in our lives."
  
  
• I have continued to meet with my PT Karie as my skin and muscles have gotten tighter and stiffer with radiation. She's helping me regain my range of motion and, as of now, we're not seeing any signs of lymphedema. I will see her weekly for the next month and then determine if I can be discharged.
  
  
• Glen and I met with Dr. Curley, my oncologist, and he's decided to give me about three weeks to heal from radiation before I begin my oral chemo Xeloda, on May 10. I will meet with him after my first two weeks of treatment to see how I'm reacting and if we need to adjust dosages. He feels like as soon as I am strong enough, I can return to church and more normal activities sometime during the next month.

This week marks one year since I discovered my tumor. We are overcome with gratitude as we think of all of the service, prayers, and support we've been blessed with. This past year would have been very different without you all and we hope that you will feel our love and thanks for being a part of our fight against cancer. We love you very much!

Diana

Radiation and Physical Therapy

A sweet friend made me a "Blue Box" for tough days.

I have been attending physical therapy twice a week with a wonderful PT and Certified Lymphedema Therapist, Karie Rosenthal. She is in her 30s and is a cancer (Lymphoma) survivor herself. We meet for about an hour each time, and the time passes quickly as we swap stories about our experiences and she works to help me with my range of motion and to redirect my lymphatic fluid to prevent lymphedema. I have had some fluid buildup in my chest since the last surgical drain was removed and we are watching that closely to see if it will absorb into my body with more time. If it increases and begins to affect my radiation plan, it may need to be aspirated by the plastic surgeon.

My first week of radiation has gone smoothly. I'm in awe at the technology and machinery that are available for this kind of treatment. Typically, it only takes 10-15 minutes for the actual treatment but it takes about an hour and a half for drive time, undressing, and prepping for the radiation. I lay on a table on my back with my hands over my head, resting in arm holders, and I have to be in exactly the same position every day. I have water-proof stickers across my chest that mark where the laser beams have to line up so that the radiation hits exactly the spot they have designated in my plan. A lot of times, a metal wire is taped to my chest which monitors the dosage amount of the radiation and on days when my chest wall is being treated the technician uses something called a brass bolus, which is kind of like a chain mail vest that is taped all around my chest and which prevents the beams from penetrating too deep and hitting my organs in the area (heart & lungs). The table I lay on is automated and can be moved left and right and up and down remotely by the technicians. They step out of the room during the treatment but can monitor and move me into position using a camera and audio from another room. The radiation machine then moves up to the table. Something that looks like a solar panel comes down over the two side arms and then the whole thing rotates around my body. It is amazing! I have to keep my head turned to the right, away from the treatment area but I can see out of the corner of my eye the metal plates changing position in the machine according to my specified settings. The radiation beams are not visible to the eye but green laser lines shine from the ceiling to keep me positioned correctly.

After each treatment, I'mm supposed to cover the radiated area 6-7 times a day with a steroid cream and aloe vera gel to keep my skin hydrated and protected from burns. As a result, most of the time I feel like a slimy mess and I have alarms going off every couple of hours to remind me to lube up:) Once a week I meet with Dr. Quiet and she monitors the effects of the radiation to see if we need any other medications or are having complications. She said typically the skin does pretty well until about week 4 and then it starts to break down. I feel tired but as long as I can get a nap in during the day or go to bed early, I have been able to keep up with the kids and their schedules. I am so grateful to feel well enough to be able to drive myself to appointments and take care of our family needs for the most part. 

I am scheduled to have radiation for the next five weeks, with my last treatment on Tuesday April 13, if all goes well. After that, we will return to meeting with my medical oncologist Dr. Curley for oral chemo. Next week, the kids have spring break so we hope to sleep in and have some fun day activities following radiation. 👍

All our love and gratitude for your continued prayers!

Do miracles cease?

It's been an emotional week for me and Glen. After receiving news that we would need to do additional chemo following radiation, we felt like the light at the end of our tunnel was no longer visible, that the finish line had being pushed too far into another year that it was out of reach. At the same time, one of our dear friends was diagnosed with a type of lymphoma cancer and we were mourning with them. We continued to move forward with work, family, and church responsibilities. We watched soccer and basketball games, helped Ryan ask a girl to prom, and celebrated Daniels's 13th birthday but our hearts were depressed and sorrowful during the quiet moments of the day. 

We were reminded by this picture of Hannah's to keep praying, to seek God's direction through scripture, and we felt comfort from priesthood blessings. In an effort to support me, Glen tried to arrange a getaway for me to have a few days to ponder and connect with God, but when he asked me what I needed to press on, I told him that what I really needed was to be in the temple. Unfortunately, our Phoenix temple had been closed due to COVID since last March and was only recently reopened, on a limited basis, for small groups performing their own ordinances, such as marriage. 

Several more days passed as we continued to pray that my faith would be strengthened, and then a miracle happened for us. A friend of a friend reached out to us to let us know that they were attending the temple with their daughter who was preparing to be married. Their family party was small, much less than what was allowed by COVID restrictions, and knowing our circumstances, they asked us if we wanted to join them. I was overcome with tears and I dropped to my knees to thank my Father in Heaven for hearing our plea and making it possible to succor me in precisely the way that I needed. This experience helped me to see our situation with an eternal perspective and be reminded of the glorious promised blessings that await those who faithfully endure the challenges of this mortal probation. Modern-day miracles continue! (Moroni 7:35-38) Our faith in Jesus Christ and in his atoning power to save us has been fortified and that has made all the difference.

Radiation was delayed one day because my plan was not quite ready. I will go in on March 2 for my verification day and first treatment will be March 3.